I'm a library science student who also runs a small library in a residence hall. You can email me, or chat with me: SpinsterLibrarian at Hotmail dot com Yahoo:SpinsterLibrarian
Thursday, April 25, 2002
This week, they refused to deliver a package I was expecting, so I had it
delivered to a friend's house nearby. When I went to pick it up, I found
an envelope containing baggies of dried herbs of some kind, (rather than
the shoes I was expecting). It had a label with my name and address (50A)
on next to a label with a neighbor's name and address (46A, crossed out
with a pen). I delivered it to the original addressee myself, still not
sure why UPS decided to send the stuff to me.
Now, personally, if I had opened up that package with "baggies of dried herbs of some kind" in it, I would not have delivered it to the addressee, but would have returned it to UPS and let them handle it. Maybe I'm just paranoid, but I would worry about the DEA taking me in for questioning about making a drug delivery, or something. What would you do?
Wednesday, April 24, 2002
So last night, Matt, Todd and I were at the megabookstore and, of course, Fake British Guy was there. Todd was determined to talk to him. Fake British Guy was in the cafe reading a book. The first attempt, Todd went in there to talk to him, he was talking to some guy. The second attempt, he was listening to music. He went back for a third attempt, and Fake British Guy was gone! Todd spotted him leaving the building, and went out the door after him. Here is how he told me that it went down:
Ran out the front door, looked both ways, saw him about to go around the corner of the building, called out his first name. Fake British Guy turned around with a puzzled look, doing that "Me?" gesture. (Note: Imagine all the words in italics being said in a fake British accent.)
FBG: Are you talking to me?
FBG: How did you know my name?
Todd: You're famous around here. You're like six degrees of separation from everybody I know.
FBG: (suspicious) Who's talking about me?
Todd: Just friends.
FBG: (suspicious) Is it the workers here?
Todd: No, just people who know you from (the university) and (the megabookstore). Everyone asks do you know the Blond British Guy.
FBG: I'm not British -- though I've been to Europe numerous times.
Todd: Oh, so you just picked it up? Yeah, like when I came back from Brazil and had a nasty Portuguese accent.
FBG: (nods in agreement) Yeah...
Todd: Well, I just had to be the one that talked to you, the one to say hi, and find out where you're from...
FBG: Well, I'm not British.
Todd: Okay, thanks, well...goodnight.
Fake British Guy went to his car, Todd came back in and told us all about it. A couple was sitting in the chairs next to me. Todd asked them if they knew who we were talking about -- they did. She is a lifeguard at the pool at the university and sees him there, he is in a class with him. He said, "I don't see what the big deal is." She said, "I don't see what's so funny." They were looking at books about plays and stage makeup, which leads me to believe that they are theater majors (as he is rumored to be) and thus don't see his behavior as odd.
Last night, at the megabookstore, Todd talked to Fake British Guy! I left my notes in the car, so I will have to get them and post the transcript later.
Monday, April 22, 2002
Now to find the other elusive issue... To be continued...
(Yay! I figured out how to make a hotlink!)
Friday, April 19, 2002
> Mr. Baisden,
> I just wanted to relate a funny story that involves one of your books.
> A female patron came in one of our local public library branches, and
> said to the clerk, "I'm looking for The Maintenance Man." The clerk,
> being new and not familiar with the title, thought that she was
> wanting the library's maintenance man. "He's not here right now." she
> said, "He's working at another location, but we can page him if
> you need him urgently." The patron blushed, and the other employees
> cracked up.
Time: Thu, 04 Apr 2002 14:24:23 -0800
Subject: Re: The Maintenance Man
That was hilarious, Kate. I wish I could have been there for that one.
Thanks for the pick me up this morning.
Thursday, April 18, 2002
Monday, April 15, 2002
Sunday, April 14, 2002
Thursday, April 11, 2002
Fake British Guy claims to have a girlfriend back in England, and no interest in dating American women. However, I'm told that he is constantly seen with various female "friends." Feigning disinterest in American girls is part of the pose, and apparently works with the girls who are also too dim to realize that his accent is fake.
A few nights ago, my friends and I were at the mega-bookstore where he is often sighted. We found an unoccupied group of armchairs and sat down. I started checking out the books that had been left on the table. There was a British magazine, many books on England, and, I shit you not, London for Dummies. "Do you know who must have been sitting here?!" I exclaimed, showing them the evidence, "Fake British Guy!" Just moments later, he walked by. (I think that I had taken his seat when he went to the "loo.") He stopped and talked to an international student who was sitting about ten feet from us (this was behind me, I couldn't see) and he was, of course, using the accent. My friend Todd and I discussed him in French. I had talked about Fake British Guy, but Todd didn't know who he was. It turns out that Todd had encountered him several times in the past, but had never heard him speak before. I'm so glad that we saw him that evening, because Todd is about to move to Miami.
Tonight, I am working at the university library, and expect to see him hanging out here, as usual.
Thursday, April 04, 2002
Well, the jig is up. (I'm relieved.) Yesterday afternoon, our boss couldn't take the guilt and told our part-timer it was all a prank. He messed with her a bit, acting like he was really pissed. He tried that on me too, but I wasn't buying it. This morning we have all been confessing our various parts in the prank.
Wednesday, April 03, 2002
Tuesday, April 02, 2002
Monday, April 01, 2002
Then the ladies in our office made up a fake Hotmail address and sent an email from "Brittiney" to the college student who works with us part-time. He is usually the one pulling pranks on them, so they didn't feel so bad doing it to him. He knew it was a joke, but thought his dad had done it! He wrote back saying that he knew it was a prank, and I was really tempted to log into the account and write back to him. I even went on Google and found a picture of a cute girl to use...but I just couldn't do it.