Sunday, June 30, 2002

  Unintended consequences: To show you why they find certain books objectionable, this parents' group presents the naughty bits of books that they think should be banned.

  Evan sent me a link to a German site where two computers are playing chess.

Saturday, June 29, 2002

  Talking about a 31 year old actress (Evan is 25, I'm 29):

evan: which i'm not saying is too old,
evan: but it doesn't hurt when they're close to your age.
evan: closer than that, i mean.
SpinsterLibrarian: Yeah, it's funny, if I think about what kind of guy I'd like to find, I tend to think that he would have a lot in common with me...
SpinsterLibrarian: but looking back, the best boyfriends that I have had, were very different from me.
evan: i guess the closest person i've ever had to a girlfriend is not all that much like me
evan: which i found pretty weird too
SpinsterLibrarian: We had very different interests, but our personalities meshed really well. And we had chemistry.
evan: yeah it doesn't matter if you have the same interests if you don't have...chemistry.
SpinsterLibrarian: Yep.

  Working at the university library...
SpinsterLibrarian: It looks like all of the catalog terminals have a country music radio station set as their homepage...
SpinsterLibrarian: some kind of publicity stunt?
evan: maybe
evan: though why anyone listens to country music is beyond me
SpinsterLibrarian: Same here. I have to go investigate, be back in a sec.
evan: k
SpinsterLibrarian: It turns out that our lone patron in the library was trying to check the station's homepage for some info...
SpinsterLibrarian: but it wasn't loading, so he kept moving from terminal to terminal trying again and again...
evan: moron.
evan: time to give up after two.
SpinsterLibrarian: because it must be the computer that's broke, not the website, right? Kill me now.
SpinsterLibrarian: A friend asked me yesterday if I would do this job full-time -- this kind of thing is why I said, "Absolutely not!"
evan_kaiser: hehehe

  Winona Ryder should try this defense: South Korea's Supreme Court overturned theft convictions (31 incidents, about $2,400 worth of merchandise) against a woman on the ground that she was menstruating (which, according to one justice, made her like a "mentally deranged patient," "unable to control her impulses") -- from News of the Weird 6/23/02

Friday, June 28, 2002

  So I got from a Canadian chick's page this idea to Google your name and the word "is" as a phrase to get funny results. Mine were:

Kate is continuing to work steadily on a new album...
Kate is the proverbial ''one woman Rock band," once seen, never forgotten.
Kate is what's called a transsexual person, meaning she was assigned one gender at birth, and she now lives her life as something else entirely.
Kate is awarded a position with the cathedral of St. Augustine.
Kate is looking to pass the ball while Azzi is guarding her.
Kate is also a truly striking woman...
Kate is a multi document editor...
Kate is on Fire.
Kate is reportedly in early negotiations to star with Johnny Depp...
'Kate' is darn hot.
Kate is separating from her husband...
Kate is your source for the renaissance clothing and accessories you need to enhance your experience.
Kate is a UK Web Woman!
Kate is a woman of strength with a great deal of integrity...

Todd tried it and sent them to me via AIM:

Todd: Todd is currently on tour with Canadian Stars on Ice GREAT!
SpnstrLibrarian: :'D
Todd: this is the best..., Todd is just the thong for you! Sparkling, glistening transparent polyester material...
Todd: Todd® is not considered a relation to Barbie at all,... I love it!!!
Todd: Todd is a fine-tuned killing machine... watch out Barbie
Todd: Todd is also a licensed Coast Guard Captain
Todd: oh shit check this... When Todd is turned down, he strays into the hotel’s saloon where he has his own turn at karaoke fever.
SpnstrLibrarian: Oh Hell yeah
Todd: hahaah
Todd: this is too much fun!

So Chris suggests that we try it in Google images, here's the best.

Thursday, June 27, 2002

  We had lunch today at the new "gay" restaurant my friend Drew recommended. The people there are really friendly, the food is great, and the decor is really nice. We will definitely be having lunch there often. Unfortunately, we took along a co-worker who is a pain to eat out with (not my idea). She always has to ask what is in everything, making faces when they name ingredients that she doesn't like. She picks at whatever she eventually orders, whining the entire time. She is incredibly embarrassing. I've had it, I'm going to lay down the law, right here and now. She. Will. Not. Be. Having. Lunch. With. Us. Any. More.

  We just got a job announcement for a new position as a custodian at one of our library branches. The job is one grade level higher, and pays about $50 a week more than my job. A bunch of us have applied for it, as a protest. If I actually did only the work that they listed in my job description (after they edited out lots of the stuff that I do) our department would come to a screeching halt.
A major factor here is that they see the custodial position as a guy's job. If they had women in mind for the job, it probably would have been the same grade and pay as I'm currently at, or less.

Update: I talked to a guy that works at that branch, and he said that the job used to pay even more!

  Excuse me while I indulge in a bit of schadenfreude: Martha Stewart gets probed.

  I have a dilemma. Evan now knows that I have a blog. Should I remove all comments about him, and let him see it? Or not give him the address, and keep talking about him? Qu'est-ce que tu t'en pense?

  Lawyer works 44 hours in one day.

Librarians are more scarce than girls in China...

  Dyes of Our Lives

And the moment that I've been dreading...

evan: hey, do you have any pictures of yourself?
SpinsterLibrarian: No. I'll have to have someone take some pictures of me.
evan: k.
SpinsterLibrarian: I tried that mirror trick, but the flash messed them all up. I tried many different angles, etc. but no dice.
evan: can't you turn off the flash?
SpinsterLibrarian: Yes, but then I couldn't find anywhere with enough available light, and a good sized mirror.
evan: oh well.
evan: i'll just be patient then.

Wednesday, June 26, 2002

  From blokheadj:

No matter who you are you can follow these 10 easy steps to being indie cool.

1. First get subs to Spin, Raygun, Rolling Stone, and Details (this one is for studying the enemy...the idle rich...ewww!). Study these cover to cover, Spin is your bible, just ignore anything about Starsailor or Radiohead being cool, we all know its not true.

2. Tell everyone what you've learned. Drop band names in casual conversation like so: "Why yes Luke, this is some great beer, but seriously have you heard the new Nada Surf album?" or try, "Don't you just love Miracle Legion?" Yes, they may not know who or what you are talking about, but that is just further proof of your impending coolness.

3. Buy anthing you can get your hands on by bands such as The Supers, Nada Surf, SushiRobo, Nick Drake, Big Star, Game Theory and anything that no one save 5 other people on the planet have heard of. Try to stay away from bands like phantom planet, however trendy, or else they'll know you're trying too hard.

4. Scour your parents' closets for cool retro threads, offer to clean your Nana's closet in exchange for those corduroy bell bottoms you saw in there.

5. Say at least ten times a day, "I hate pop music."

6. Bone up on retro bands like the Box Tops, Clique, Tommy James, Big Star, and The Easybeats, retro is always cool.

7. Okay, next preach the gospel of the indie scene to everyone you know, and maybe even people you don't know. So get out your Nada Surf T-shirt or Motley Crue -- no I
meant Pete Yorn. What are you tryin' to say? I AM TOO COOL! Let them know who you are and what you stand for. But be prepared for failure. Not everyone can appreciate Dramarama. And NEVER EVER wear Dockers, noooo!!!!!!!

8. When an indie band becomes mainstream pretend they are no longer cool, and secretly buy the album anyway.

9. Despite what everyone says, you are NOT a loser, they are all just jealous. It's perfectly normal and fully expected.

10. If someone calls you a wussy Cure loving freak just walk away secure in the knowledge that you are still cooler than them. If they call you a wussy Radiohead loving freak, kick their butt to maintain your cool status.

In closing: Be comforted by the fact that by the time everyone else likes the music you like now, you'll like something else even cooler. Don't forget to always stay one step ahead and one notch below the Status Quo!

Tuesday, June 25, 2002

  This evening, Evan and I were talking about when we started using email, 1994 and 1995 respectively:

SpinsterLibrarian: I just remembered something about my early days with email...
SpinsterLibrarian: My friend Todd told me that his address was veedub@hotmail.com...
SpinsterLibrarian: I heard, "HotMale.com"...
evan: heh that's funny
SpinsterLibrarian: I thought, "My, don't we think a lot of ourselves!"
evan: so basically you have a dirty mind, then.
SpinsterLibrarian: *blush* Not really... (Damn, shouldn't have told that anecdote.)
evan: oh i'm just teasing.

  Fake British Guy Mega Update Okay, so I'm hanging out with friends the other night, catching up, and dishing on FBG...

He is actually an English major, not a theater major as I suspected. (Okay, weirdness level has gone back up a notch...)

He has been working as a barrista at a local place that sells expensive coffees, tobacco products, and chocolates. (Whatever your (legal) vice, they've got you covered!)

He is currently in Europe -- for the very first time. (Give that one a little time to sink in.)

When a teenage co-worker of his was asked where he went, he said, "He went home to Poland." (I think that I actually understand where this strange idea came from... FBG told some people that he had a girlfriend in Poland. I think that he told the kid that, so he assumed that that was where he was from.)

He "confessed" to someone we know that he picked up the accent when he was 14 and lived with his aunt in Chicago. He said that she had these "sophisticated" friends who all spoke with British accents. (Were they Brits? Or were they also faking it? Why didn't he have the accent last school year? It's intermittent?)

After a long evening of studying in the cafe of the mega-bookstore, he excused himself saying, "Well, I guess I'm going to go home and have some Heineken and cheese." (That sounds more like something that they would do in Wisconsin.)

One day, he was bemoaning the fact that he takes six classes, and works 35 hours a week. My friend asked, "Do you have to work?" Taken aback, he said defensively, "I have to build up my finances for my summer travels." (Gotta visit those girlfriends in England and Poland!)

He asked my friend, "Where are you going for the summer?" and acted shocked and appalled that he was staying in town. (I mean really -- how gauche!)

Monday, June 24, 2002

  *** Watch this space!**** Fake British Guy mega-update coming soon!

I've gotten two more Dance Card postcards: a Japanese post card from Robin in Cincinnati, and a San Francisco postcard that was unsigned, but my be from Nina.

Sunday, June 23, 2002

  Evan and I just missed each other all day, but talked for two hours tonight, including this priceless exchange:

evan: what class is it?
SpinsterLibrarian: Library classes.
SpinsterLibrarian: I'm working on my masters.
evan: oh.
evan: i didn't know they had a masters degree in... librarying.
SpinsterLibrarian: ROFL
SpinsterLibrarian: Yep, you're not actually a librarian until you get one.
SpinsterLibrarian: My pay will double when I finish my degree...theoretically.
evan: cool.
evan: :)
evan: so what is your masters degree actually going to be in?
SpinsterLibrarian: Library Science...it sounds like I shelve books, and mix up stuff in beakers.
evan: yeah really.
evan: i was about to say, "don't tell me library science, because i wouldn't believe you"
SpinsterLibrarian: ROFL
evan: i truly never thought that there would be advanced degrees in such a thing.

Also, A Tale of Three Cheeses:

SpinsterLibrarian: Two cats. Brie is the female, she's about four. Wensleydale, the male, is six.
evan: what kind of name is Wensleydale?
SpinsterLibrarian: To make a long story short, when Ben was eight, his friend down the street got a kitten, and named it Cheshire after the Cheshire cat in Alice In Wonderland.
SpinsterLibrarian: Now, to Ben, Cheshire is a type of cheese that he eats in England.
SpinsterLibrarian: He deduced that his friend had named his cat after his favorite cheese...
SpinsterLibrarian: So Ben named his cat Wensleydale, after his favorite kind of cheese!
evan: i see.
evan: so this guy likes cheese a lot.
SpinsterLibrarian: When they got their next cat, they decided to carry on the tradition, and Leslie named her Brie.
SpinsterLibrarian: I expect the next cat will be named Stilton, or some such.

  Last night, I went out to dinner for a friend's birthday, and afterwards we saw a movie. While I was gone Evan, the personals guy, tried to message me three times:

*** "evan_XXXXXX" signed on at Sat Jun 22 22:03:13 2002.
evan_XXXXXX: you there?
*** Auto-response sent to evan_XXXXXX: Gone out, be back later.
evan_XXXXXX: guess not

evan_XXXXXX: you back yet?
evan_XXXXXX: well i'm gonna go wash dishes, be back in a bit

evan_XXXXXX: back
evan_XXXXXX: well i'm off to bed
evan_XXXXXX: good night

*** "evan_XXXXXX" signed off at Sun Jun 23 02:19:09 2002.

How sweet!

Note: Screennames have been changed to protect the innocent.

Saturday, June 22, 2002

  I talked to the personals guy for over two hours on IM this afternoon.

Friday, June 21, 2002

  After work, I IM'd the personals guy for about a half an hour. We both had to go, so we said that maybe we'd talk later. When I got home around 9, he was online. We ended up talking for an hour and a half. (Though for at least half that time, he was troubleshooting my friend's PC.) The last thing that he said was, "Talk to you tomorrow."

  I googled the guy from the personals, and got a few hits -- nothing incriminating. ; ) Okay, so then I thought, "What if he googled me with the tiny bit of info that he has?" (first name, city, and occupation) I decided to try it. My name and work email showed up in the top three hits, but worse yet, this book review turned up as the number one hit:

"...You will enjoy the manhunting campaign of modern career woman, Kate, as she goes
all out to find a husband but has a hard time finding anyone who meets her standards."

Oh. My. God. The horror! (And BTW, thank you Drew for pointing that out to me!)

  Okay, so...night before last I was reading an article on Salon and when I finished, on a whim, I clicked the personals link. But to get into the personals, you have to create a profile...so I did, then I looked up guys in my area. There weren't very many ads, so I looked at all of them. There was one guy in particular who sounded interesting, so I sent him a message. He replied last night, and I emailed him this morning. I never would have dreamed about doing something like that...I totally blame Ernie for putting the idea in my head!

Thursday, June 20, 2002

  I run a listserv, and it got caught in a loop because a guy set autoreply on his email. I sent out a message, his autoreply responded, then responded to it's own message, etc. etc. etc. Luckily, I caught it early, and removed him from the list. We all got seven of these messages:

I will be out of the office from June17th through July 3rd.

Afraid of being flamed by pissed off subscribers, I quickly sent out an apology:

Subject: *********** Listserv: Did you know Clarence was out of the office? ; )

Sorry about the seven messages from Clarence's auto-reply. We've removed his address from the listserv until he gets back. (On the bright side, it could have been worse, I was on an IU listserv that got caught in a loop like that, and we all got over 700 emails!)*


* True story! It took me about a half hour to delete them all.

Wednesday, June 19, 2002

  To link to an NPR webpage, you have to fill out this ridiculous form. Oh gee, I think that I just linked to them...ooops!

  A while back, I was looking for a handbook for a school nurse. I found a record for a book called, The School Nurse. Books-in-Print gave very little detail, so I wasn't really sure what type of book it was. The publisher was Greenleaf Classics, which sounded to me like it might be a children's book publisher. I decided the best way to determine what type of book it was was to see what other books the author had written. That search turned up the following titles:

Ann's Gang Rape
Billy's Horny Mother
The Secretary's Itch
The Sailor's Horny Wife
The Voyeur Landlord
The Wife Next Door
Wife on the Loose

Ooops! Not exactly the kind of books our patron was looking for! Glad I double-checked before requesting that title!

Tuesday, June 18, 2002

  We just had an earthquake! 4.4! 5.0!

  A YA assistant told me that a few days ago a couple of teenage boys came in and asked where the "erotic" books were. (We don't have any -- they won't buy anything labeled as erotica.) When she told them that there was no erotica, they asked where the "pornography" was. They said that they had heard that it was kept on the top floor. Urban legend? The top floor is actually all offices -- no library materials.

Monday, June 17, 2002

  I tried Find Your Spot and here are my results:

1. La Crosse WI
2. Champaign-Urbana IL
3. Eau Claire WI
4. Salem OR
5. Eugene OR
6. Las Cruces NM
7. Sheboygan WI
8. Kenosha WI
9. Corvallis OR
10. Medford OR
11. Oak Park IL
12. Reno NV
13. Green Bay WI
14. Madison WI
15. Santa Fe NM

I actually considered going to library school at Champaign-Urbana, now I wonder if I should have. What is with all the Wisconsin locations?!? (One third of my matches were in Wisconsin.) There were four Louisiana locations on the list, even though the South was the one region that I didn't want to live in. I'm actually kind of intrigued...they must have had good reason to include them...

  A few weeks ago, I mentioned Dance Card. I signed up, and have so far received two postcards. Natalie from Arlington TX, sent me a San Antonio TX postcard. Josh, who lives in New Mexico, sent me an Italian postcard that he mailed from England. I need to get cracking and start mailing my stuff.

  What religion suits you best? Find out from the Belief-O-Matic. Let me know in the comments what your top matches were.

(Warning: Belief-O-Matic assumes no legal liability for the ultimate fate of your soul.)

Saturday, June 15, 2002

  Okay, so I get in Matt's new-used car last night, and he points to the emergency brake, and asks me what it is. The emergency brake was pulled up halfway, and he had been driving the car around for a day and a half! I told him what it was, when he should use it, and then demonstrated how to work it. As we pulled away from the curb, he marvelled at the difference...

Lego porn

Friday, June 14, 2002

  Cheryll and Jesse will be going out on the final date on Blind Date Blog. Now the post-game let down...

  On AIM around 10pm last night:

SpnstrLibrarian: Hi.
Todd: hey be right there
*** Auto-response sent to Todd: Getting ready for work
SpnstrLibrarian: ooops!
Todd: getting ready for work??
SpnstrLibrarian: I'm getting ready to go out tricking... Actually, that's from this morning.
SpnstrLibrarian: I forgot to change it to "at work" before I left this morning, and to change it again when I got home.
Todd: I wondered. thought Andrew had you working again. haha
SpnstrLibrarian: Yep, Drew's my pimp, and I'm Ernie's pimp.* It's sort of a multi-level marketing type deal.
Todd: pyramid ho
Todd: not to be mistaken with talley ho
Todd: thats what the pimp does at the end of the shift
SpnstrLibrarian: I get a cut of Ernie's money, Drew gets a cut of mine and Ernie's, and Ernie, well, he just gets smacked up now and then.
Todd: hahaha

* See the comments section of this post.

Thursday, June 13, 2002

  Hero Machine

So, I'm housesitting for some friends, and they have a cleaning lady who comes in every three weeks... I was going to bed last night when I checked the answering machine, and heard her message that she was coming the next morning. I ran around the house straightening up, cursing myself for having dishes in the sink, and a pile of laundry undone. I left a very apologetic note for her asking her to let me know if there is anything that I need to do differently next time. I was telling a friend about this, and he said that the same thing happens at their house the day before their cleaning lady comes. I've never had a cleaning lady, so I'm not real sure about the etiquette here. How neat should the house be when she arrives? On a scale of, say, bra hanging from the ceiling fan to, say, having erased all evidence of my existence from the house, what point on that scale should I try to achieve? Also, I have a pair of men's boxer shorts that I wear to bed with a t-shirt, and I found myself worrying that she would see them and think that they belonged to some guy. Then, I thought about hiding them, then I thought, she might find them, realize that I had hidden them, and definitely think that they belonged to some guy... This cleaning lady business is really too taxing -- it's like when my sister and I took our mother to a really fancy restaurant for her fiftieth birthday, and I didn't know what to do, or how to act, and ended up not really enjoying it too much.

Friends and I have noticed that videos that some we have requested that the library buy have not been purchased. Not that we expect the library to purchase every video that we would like it to, but these are critically acclaimed and would be popular items. The common thread here is that they are all gay-themed. We suspect that they offend the sensibilities of the guy who orders the videos.

Wednesday, June 12, 2002

  Drew found this: Lonely Astronaut

OCLC is launching the online reference system that I helped beta test last year: QuestionPoint

Tuesday, June 11, 2002

  It's getting down to the wire on Blind Date Blog...when the voting ends, we will know who the winners, er, lucky couple, er, last two standing are... The suspense is killing me!

Monday, June 10, 2002

  MozillaFest! I'm really diggin' Mozilla...

A fix for those pesky Java errors on Mozilla! For more Mozilla info, check out the comments area of this Kuro5hin article.

LittleMozilla: a skin for Mozilla that shrinks toolbar size. You can find other themes here.

  Ugh, I'm sick today. The main thing is that I'm very dizzy. I lay in bed trying to sleep, and the room just spins and spins...
Anyway, today is my parents' 30th wedding anniversary. What do you do on somebody's anniversary when they are getting divorced? Not mention it at all? Go ahead and send a card since the divorce isn't final yet?

Saturday, June 08, 2002

  Bathe at your own risk!


Why you shouldn't plagiarize: This story in The Onion was reprinted in one of China's major newspapers. (And, so that I'm not guilty of plagiarizing, I have to mention that I first read about this on Rovidica.)

Friday, June 07, 2002

  I was going to comment on R. Kelly's arrest for child pornography, but when I read Ernie's comments, I decided to just link to them instead.

Where do you wear something like this?

Thursday, June 06, 2002

  We had another Fundie v. Gay incident today... Our Christian maintenance supervisor expressed disgust over an article in the newspaper about a lawsuit brought by some gays who were discriminated against, in front of several co-workers, one of which, unbeknownst to him, is a lesbian.* She called him out, telling him that she disagreed with his point of view, and that he should not be making such comments in the workplace anyway.

*Correction: I got this wrong. She is straight, but her son is gay. My bad, Kate

  I installed the new Mozilla browser today. So far, I like it. One problem that I have found is that when I am in a dropdown box, I cannot scroll. Annoying, yes, but if Mozilla is miles better than IE, I will cope.

Tuesday, June 04, 2002

  You have to check this out: My Porn Name

For you Asian fetishists out there...

That is completely sexist... Where's the class telling me how to hook up with Asian men?!

Monday, June 03, 2002

  This may explain why the populous seems to be getting dumber...
"Intelligent people don't get laid."

Here's a neat idea: Dance Card. The sign up deadline is June 5th, so if you're interested, sign up now.

Sunday, June 02, 2002

  Tan lines.

I have been checking out Meg's Boyfriend of the Week for some time now, and just wanted to take this opportunity to plug it. I love Meg's writing, and wish mine were so smart and funny. While many of the guys featured are young hotties, she also frequently features the not-so-young, and not-so-hot (I'm too nice to link that one). Meg has featured many favorites of mine, and introduced me to new ones. In her recent feature on Bam Margara, she confirmed my long held suspicion that she was a fellow librarian, making her, officially, the coolest librarian I know.